Things you learn in the first year of uni

I don't know if all new students go to university with the expectation of starting a new period of learning, studying and being responsible. I did... until I arrived here. Here is a list of the things I actually learned in the first year of college away from home.

1. Did they tell you you'd like your subjects? They lied to you. They lied cruelly. You thought you were going to study languages, but will end up buried in a sea of cables while you try to pass Computers, a decidedly useful subject for a Russian philologist. 

2. Studying is for highschool. Indeed, many people think that, in university, a huge amount of time is spent in the library studying mountains of notes. Well, unless you're studying Medicine or Difficult Things Engineering, this doesn't apply to you. You will study during the first week of your degree, feeling responsible, and during session, feeling... all you can feel when you've been awake for 48 hours staring at the same book.

3. Healthy food is overrated. At the beginning, you'll try to eat a bit of everything: rice today, salad tomorrow. However, after a few weeks, the student way of life will keep you from spending a lot of time in the kitchen; also, washing the dishes requires an amount of mental preparation that, when you're 18, you simply don't have. This way, kebab and microwave pizzas will conquer your diet little by little, until you reach the point where buying a bag of premade salad becomes an achievement so big that you'll put an X on the calendar.

4. Avoid washing. Washing is bad for your health. Some hours ago, I watched a loved one eat an icecream with her finger. This option is obviously much better than washing a spoon.

5. You don't need to study too much in order to become a professor. This will be shown to you daily by many of your teachers. Furthermore, you don't need any kind of vocation: if you're not good at your thing, university will open its doors for you. With sentences like "I'm here because my children ruined my life" or "I should be correcting a PhD in the Politics faculty, but instead they made come babysit you", the respectable professors will demonstrate their love for teaching.

6. During session, all hobbies are good. All of them! It doesn't matter if you decide to clean up the house (mine needed that), start a blog or make models of World War II airplanes (people are weird). The more people join your hobby, the better: it's perfectly appropriate that five people meet in a house to watch sitcoms for six hours straight a week before an important exam. Don't judge.

7. You shouldn't be considered "of age" till 30. Are you 18? Yep. Are you an adult? Nope. Why? I could make a list. An adult gets up at eight in the morning. He has breakfast and goes to work. He comes home at five, having eaten something healthy during lunch break. He devotes his time to his hobbies and family till 10, has fun with his spouse till 12 and goes to sleep. Result: A productive day and 8 hours of sleep.

You? You wake up at three in the afternoon, eat half a pizza from yesterday's dinner, go to classes from 4 to 8 (or 4 to 6, or 5 to 7, who said routine?), go "for a walk" that finishes at midnight, come home, watch sitcoms until you crash and sleep for around 12h. Ok, that's what I do, but it can't be so different from average.

Disclaimer:  I have not written this post as a way to generalize my own experience and feel less guilty for being a sedentary cavewoman with decadent hours of sleep that showers with cold water and feeds herself on frozen microwaveables.