This is why I will never have a driving license

My flatmate is getting a driving license. His objective is to pass the exam before summer, pretty tough challenge since we're starting session in four days. He's the only one of my friends that's any close to getting it, and his new hobby is to insist that all of us try. 


For this reason, I've decided to blog about the reasons why I will never have a driving license. Not for a car, a motorbike or a helicopter -and if there was a rollerblades license, I wouldn't get it either.

The main reason is that I have the hand-to-eye coordination of an alcoholic monkey with cocaine cold turkey. After one hour of driving, I would probably be doing a headstand, trying to use the brakes with my tongue and turn the wheel with my toes.

Besides, I'm really afraid of driving. Not only because of myself, but because of everyone around me. If i could drive a car, it should have at least a siren on top and policemen behind and in front, to warn people to make way if they value their lives.

When I turned 18, my father had the great idea to take me to the field with all my family and make me drive. My sisters cried and screamed in anticipation, but I didn't let them out of the car. That way I wouldn't run over them. 

Ten minutes into my driving lesson, I got all nervous and forgot which was the brake and which was the accelerator. Result: swerving in order not to crash the car against a tree, eternal memory of my father's laughter.

Apart from all this, it turns out that I have a weak stomach: I become sick if I ride anything that moves faster than a bycicle. I will dedicate a whole post to this, but now it just serves to explain that I couldn't drive if I had to open the window every 10 minutes to puke out of it. And the road would be all slippery.

Let's just hope that I'll never live in a city big enough to need a car to move around.